It matters little if you accept it or not. That is the truth and it cannot be changed.
[ The stress on his body emotionally and having been curled up alone in his room prior to her intervening hasn't been good for him to say the least. ]
Had I not died then, I was not to last much longer past that point and I wished to die on my own ter--
[ He stopped short, body wracked with a coughing fit as he brought a hand up to his mouth. It didn't last long, but soon as his hand pulled back? There was definitely blood on his palm. ]
[ She reaches for that bloodied hand, her grip firm as she pulls him level to lock gazes with him. Hers is intense, unwavering, blood between them. ]
Don't impose such limitations on me. Anything can be changed so long as you're alive and sometimes even after that. If I have to drag your soul kicking and screaming from the depths of some hell, I will.
[ Since these small coughing fits always distracted him, he didn't catch her movement until she'd grabbed his hand and he looked up to find that intense gaze fixed on him. ]
...How would you manage that?
[ A tiny bit of irritation leaked into his voice but it wasn't entirely aimed at her as he brought up his free hand to place it against his chest. ]
Unless you can remove this damnable sickness from me, I will eventually die whether anyone wishes it or not.
[ That definitely took him by surprise, blinking a couple times as he registered what it was she'd said to him. ]
A what...?
[ With everything he'd seen here, a lot of things were much more plausible but then he had to wonder why she'd suggest such a thing. A contract to him was something for work, an agreement between two parties for something. ]
[ He just blinked a bit, opening his mouth as if to answer but stopping short once he realized he didn't have an answer as much as he first thought. ]
...I don't have an answer to that.
[ Akutagawa exhaled a small sigh, closing his eyes. ]
If it had been at home... I would have requested for more strength and power as to have Dazai-san acknowledge me. [ A scoff followed that. ] He did that when he was here, and then I realized that it's alright to feel and fell in love. So I don't know what I want right now.
[ He was ready to say it. How he really hadn't a problem with dying before, when he'd been back home. Then he stopped to think about it. Here in Nippon, people loved and cared for him and would be legitimately sad if he actually died.
Why did that thought hurt him as much as it had just then? ]
I used to have just... one reason for living, pushing myself to do my best. Be the strongest.
[ His gaze fell to where she held his hand, mind swimming with images and knowledge that his purpose had shifted somewhere along the road. It no longer was about impressing Dazai anymore, and he knew that. ]
My life had little meaning prior to my arrival, but after spending time here? It isn't a place in which I wish to die. Not here.
[ Months ago? He never would so much as entertained the mere idea of engaging in anything such as this, so it was intriguing to see how his thoughts had vastly shifted all this time. ]
Very well.
[ Akutagawa straightened up properly and there was a definitive light to his eyes now. ]
Tell me what it is I have to do in order to forge one with you.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-07 03:52 pm (UTC)[ He can't be. Higuchi, too. That's... ]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-09 07:45 am (UTC)[ There's something resigned, but utterly calm as he looks at her now. Unphased by her reaction in the slightest. ]
That's all it is.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-09 11:49 pm (UTC)[ She won't. Akutagawa and Higuchi, they're... ]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-15 08:19 pm (UTC)[ The stress on his body emotionally and having been curled up alone in his room prior to her intervening hasn't been good for him to say the least. ]
Had I not died then, I was not to last much longer past that point and I wished to die on my own ter--
[ He stopped short, body wracked with a coughing fit as he brought a hand up to his mouth. It didn't last long, but soon as his hand pulled back? There was definitely blood on his palm. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-08-18 11:09 pm (UTC)Don't impose such limitations on me. Anything can be changed so long as you're alive and sometimes even after that. If I have to drag your soul kicking and screaming from the depths of some hell, I will.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-23 08:10 am (UTC)...How would you manage that?
[ A tiny bit of irritation leaked into his voice but it wasn't entirely aimed at her as he brought up his free hand to place it against his chest. ]
Unless you can remove this damnable sickness from me, I will eventually die whether anyone wishes it or not.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-24 01:39 am (UTC)Make a contract with me.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-25 06:15 am (UTC)A what...?
[ With everything he'd seen here, a lot of things were much more plausible but then he had to wonder why she'd suggest such a thing. A contract to him was something for work, an agreement between two parties for something. ]
What purpose would it serve?
no subject
Date: 2021-08-30 10:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-03 01:27 am (UTC)...I don't have an answer to that.
[ Akutagawa exhaled a small sigh, closing his eyes. ]
If it had been at home... I would have requested for more strength and power as to have Dazai-san acknowledge me. [ A scoff followed that. ] He did that when he was here, and then I realized that it's alright to feel and fell in love. So I don't know what I want right now.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-10 11:24 pm (UTC)[ She says it simply, easily. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-09-11 08:39 am (UTC)[ He was ready to say it. How he really hadn't a problem with dying before, when he'd been back home. Then he stopped to think about it. Here in Nippon, people loved and cared for him and would be legitimately sad if he actually died.
Why did that thought hurt him as much as it had just then? ]
I shouldn't want to. It's... selfish.
no subject
Date: 2021-09-22 12:13 am (UTC)It isn't selfish to want to live your life, Akutagawa-san, and I know a thing or two about being selfish.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-04 07:34 am (UTC)[ His gaze fell to where she held his hand, mind swimming with images and knowledge that his purpose had shifted somewhere along the road. It no longer was about impressing Dazai anymore, and he knew that. ]
My life had little meaning prior to my arrival, but after spending time here? It isn't a place in which I wish to die. Not here.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-12 06:23 am (UTC)[ She'll say it again. ]
Make a contract with me for your life.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-12 06:50 am (UTC)Very well.
[ Akutagawa straightened up properly and there was a definitive light to his eyes now. ]
Tell me what it is I have to do in order to forge one with you.